The Power of Pre-Making Decisions: Why Decide in the Moment if You Can Decide in Advance?
Several years ago, I missed my brother’s birthday party. My family has never been great with planning, and the bday invite went out a day or two beforehand. By that point in time, I already had plans with a friend, so I told my family I wouldn’t make it to the party.
And even though I love my brother to death, that decision wasn’t a tough one for me to make. In fact, I had essentially decided what I would do in that situation years earlier.
I had “pre-decided” that whenever I had plans with someone, I wouldn’t cancel them even if a better opportunity came along.
I had made that decision because I was tired of letting people down. I was frustrated at myself for all of the times I had skipped out on a commitment because someone later invited me to something that sounded more fun.
I had pre-decided: In [this specific situation], I’m going to [take this specific action].
This life choice has caused me to miss big sporting events, parties with friends, and other activities. But it has also helped me fulfill my commitments, become a better friend, and prioritize ethics over enjoyment. Not to mention, this single pre-decision has saved me HOURS of agonizing decision-making, anxiety, and time spent scribbling pros-and-cons lists.
I don’t share this story with you to explain why you need to adopt this single life decision of honoring an original commitment. I share it with you because this story illustrates the power of pre-making decisions. One pre-decision can prevent a thousand one-off decisions. And that is a game-changer.
I’ve made countless other pre-decisions throughout the years.
In college, I told my best friend that I would be there for him any time day or night — to talk through tough breakups, challenging homework assignments, etc. I prioritized that friendship over sleep. That pre-decision caused me a few sleepless nights, but whenever I heard a knock on my door at 2 a.m., I knew what I needed to do, and a lifelong friendship was forged. My friend and I have continued that same commitment (“any time day or night”) to this day.
Last year, I decided that I wanted to run more, so I pre-decided that I would wake up early every single Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning to go on a run before work. When my alarm clock buzzed in the morning, what percentage of the time do you think I wanted to go running? MAYBE ten percent of the time. But alas, I had already pre-decided, so I rolled out of bed and laced up my running shoes.
One pre-decision can prevent a thousand separate decisions.
Billionaire hedge fund manager Ray Dalio wrote an entire book about this concept. In his book Principles: Life and Work, Dalio says, “Without principles, we would be forced to react to all the things life throws at us individually, as if we were experiencing each of them for the first time.”
Dalio goes on to say the following:
“Using principles is a way of both simplifying and improving your decision making…This will allow you to massively reduce the number of decisions you have to make (I estimate by a factor of something like 100,000) and will lead you to make much better ones. The key to doing this well is to:
1. Slow down your thinking so you can note the criteria you are using to make your decision.
2. Write the criteria down as a principle.
3. Think about those criteria when you have an outcome to assess, and refine them before the next ‘one of those’ comes along.”
Dalio’s book contains hundreds of “principles” (pre-decisions) that guide his daily decision-making. How could you apply that concept in your life?
I have no clue what decisions YOU need to pre-make right now.
Maybe you’re on a diet but you also are mindful of how much more expensive it is to purchase healthy food. You could pre-decide that when faced with a choice between a low-cost, unhealthy option (e.g., McDonald’s) and a high-cost, healthy one (e.g., the fancy salad place down the street), you’ll spend the extra money and pick the healthy option.
Maybe you’ve been dominating discussions at work, and you want to talk less and listen more. You may decide that whenever you’re considering whether to say something in a meeting, you’ll stay silent for a full minute before speaking up — at which point you’ll be able to gauge whether your comment will add value to the discussion.
The key is to determine the rules that will govern your behavior in specific situations. Find a way to pre-decide what you should do.
Tips for pre-making decisions
1. Consider which decisions you need to make over and over.
What decisions exhaust you? What sucks up endless time that could be avoided with a pre-decision? If you notice the same situation cropping up time and again, determine how you will handle that situation in the future. Be explicit with yourself by putting your answer in this formula:
In [this specific situation], I’m going to [take this specific action].
2. Tell others about your pre-decisions.
One or two of my family members were initially upset when I said I wouldn’t attend my brother’s birthday. Then another family member reminded them: “This is Bobby’s rule. You know how important commitments are to him.” Communicating my philosophy earlier had greased the skids for future tough situations. My family had benefited in the past from me honoring my commitments even when “better alternatives” came up. Now it was their turn to take a back seat to my prior commitment.
3. Give yourself grace.
Sometimes it’s necessary to break one of your personal rules. Maybe your sister announces that she’s going to get married the night of the upcoming Maroon 5 concert. You and a friend bought tickets to the concert months ago; you’ve committed. I can’t exactly tell you what to do, but…go to your sister’s wedding! Never let a good life philosophy get in the way of a necessary life choice.
What decisions — small or large — do you find yourself facing time and again?
Save yourself the time, mental energy, stress, and guilt by making more pre-decisions in your life.
Your future self will be glad you did.
