My English Teacher Was Wrong About These 5 Things (and Yours Probably Was Too)

The writing habits that earned me an “A” in English class would drive boredom and disengagement if I still used them today.

Sure, my English teachers taught me valuable information about grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure, but they were teaching academic writing — not professional writing.

Here are five writing lessons I learned in my high school English classes that don’t work in the real world:

Myth #1 — Use Big Words and Flowery Language

My classmates and I competed for our teacher’s favor by using long, complicated words. I remember consulting my thesaurus to try to find more impressive words to convey what I wanted to say.

I was awarded for using lots of adjectives and adverbs. These flowery words made my prose sound more impressive. I thought one of the goals of writing was to sound smart and prove your wide vocabulary to others.

The truth: The goal of writing is to communicate ideas. And the best way to communicate an idea is to express it simply. Use small words in big ways. Eliminate unnecessary adjectives and adverbs. Be concise.

“One of the really bad things you can do to your writing is to dress up the vocabulary, looking for long words because you’re maybe a little bit ashamed of your short ones. This is like dressing up a household pet in evening clothes. The pet is embarrassed and the person who committed this act of premeditated cuteness should be even more embarrassed.” — Stephen King

Myth #2 — More Words Is Better

Every writing assignment I can remember from high school came with a page requirement. The requirement was always that the paper had to be at least X number of pages.

The implicit message was that more was better. Laziness would be writing too few pages — not too many.

The truth: In the real world, lazy writers are those who don’t take the time to trim the fat. A great writer can express a difficult concept in 200 words that would take a novice writer 500 words to express.

“If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.” — Attributed to Mark Twain

Myth #3 — Present Your Thesis in the First Paragraph

I was taught to introduce my argument immediately. My teacher said the last sentence of the first paragraph should be the thesis statement, and I should spend the rest of my paper proving the thesis statement.

The idea was to ensure that my writing (and that of my classmates) was narrowly focused on a single topic. If we were writing everything to prove a thesis statement, our writing couldn’t stray too far afield from the topic.

The truth: Indeed, every article or book should be focused on a single topic. But great writing is driven by storytelling and suspense. The best articles don’t begin with thesis statements; they begin with stories that make the reader care about the topic. Begin with a story, and then introduce your idea.

“Two or three things I know for sure, and one of them is that to go on living I have to tell stories, that stories are the one sure way I know to touch the heart and change the world.” — Dorothy Allison

Myth #4 — Use Diverse Words to Introduce Dialogue

When writing dialogue, I was taught to vary my verb selection to keep the dialogue interesting. Rather than repeatedly writing “Harry said _____,” I was encouraged to switch things up with “Harry opined _____,” “Harry explained _____,” and even the occasional “Harry queried ______.”

It wasn’t until after high school and college and graduate school that someone (a friend who worked in publishing for almost a decade) told me the truth: real writers use simple phrases to introduce dialogue.

The truth: You don’t need to invent new synonyms for words like “said” and “asked.” The strength of your characters’ dialogue should be compelling enough to keep the reader interested. Rather than distracting the reader with fluffy verbs, rely on the power of your dialogue to carry the story — just like the gifted writer Nina LaCour quoted below.

She says, “I have something I want to tell you.”

Her mascara has smudged under her eyes, but she doesn’t look tired.

“May I?” she asks, and takes my hand. I squeeze hers back, expect her to let go but she doesn’t.

She says, “I wanted to be your mother. From the first night I met you, I wanted that.”

Everything in me begins to buzz. My scalp and my fingers and my heart.

Myth #5 — Don’t Use Contractions

The fastest way to draw the ire of my English teacher was to use slang words like contractions. Using “don’t,” “can’t,” and “shouldn’t” was supposedly unprofessional and not worthy of the printed page.

The truth: Contractions are not only acceptable but encouraged in most writing. Write as you speak. Contractions make your writing sound relatable and conversational, which is exactly the way your writing should sound.

“Never say anything in writing that you wouldn’t comfortably say in conversation.” — William Zinsser